Check out my Blog- “Faith Fuel”
Check out my devotions published at Christian Women Online and 5 Minutes for Mom:
That Road is Closed (2/19/ 200 
When Jesus Comes Into Your Boat
Welcoming the Challenge
Why Thank You! A Mid Life Crisis
Excerpts from my blog are listed below.
Friday, October 05, 2007
When You Change Your Mind
It was hard to share last night, with the 60 women that were there for the Women’s LIFE workshop, about a time in my life when I changed my mind. It wasn’t the changed mind that was hard to share- that was the wonderful, turning point of my life! But what brought about this change of mind was years of striving to be accepted by God, fear of God, and inner chaos.
I don’t like to remember such inner turmoil. All this occurred when I was growing up, in spite of the fact that I grew up in a home with Christian parents and was taught the Word of God everywhere I went. I knew a lot about God and His requirements, but I did not understand at all what the Good News, the Gospel, was. It all seemed like bad news to me: there was a heaven but there was a hell- and in spite of hearing about salvation, I was scared I might still end up there; there was a righteous Holy God- and I didn’t think I could ever satisfy His requirements to walk in a worthy manner.
I may share here on this blog about days of interpersonal clashes (a nice way of saying my son was acting up and I was falling down), times of pain ( a gentle way of saying I’m tired of dealing with stuff and it makes feel like I’m getting old and gray), and times where I am wondering how God will get me further along on the path when I have stalled. But sharing about these times with you all do not trouble me as much- because I always have hope, and even when I’m really down, I do not feel lost. Not anymore. But sharing about my past- when I felt like a ship in a storm with no anchor- that I just don’t like to dwell on or recount. But I did last night.
I shared with the women what I hadn’t talked about in a long while. That years ago, all the way till I was 21, I was normal looking on the outside and just in shambles on the inside. I felt lost and so in a panic, so insecure- and with too much Bible knowledge but no revelation of the LOVE that God poured out to me, the hand He extended to me when Christ died on the cross.
And then I went to Spain, my junior year of college, and lived there a year. It started out great: cafe con leche, dancing at night, chats with friends at outside cafes. Then the novelty wore off, and the old feelings I had returned. Instead of the enjoying the heights of excitement and foreign intrigue, I plummeted , inwardly, into despair.
Jentezen Franklin writes in his book, Right People, Right Place, Right Plan:
“until your misery factor exceeds your fear factor, you won’t change.”
He’s right. When my inner misery mounted to the point that I called out to God- in spite of the fact that I was afraid of Him- I changed my mind at that point. I realized that after all my years of trying to be good that I could not do it, and that had to be admitted. I simply told God, “I can’t do this anymore.” God replied to me, “Well, I can. Let me do it in you.” And that’s when I changed my mind about who I was, and Who God was and HOW I could make it in this world.
I knew I was a sinner- but I found out that not only is there a Savior- but that He knows we cannot do a thing to make ourselves worthy of being loved by Him. He loves us-in spite of the huge debt we owe, when it comes to righteousness. So He paid it all, for us. I saw that, finally. I realized what it was God offered to us, and what He wanted from us, which was -to change our mind.
That’s what I did, back in 1982, in Spain. I changed my mind about WHO I could trust to lead me- and it was no longer myself that I wanted in the driver’s seat.
It’s called Repentance. That’s what we are called to do upon hearing the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand: Repent! But it isn’t repent- as in grovel and loathe yourself because you are a sinner. Repentance is not even regret, so much, over your sin.
In the Greek, the word repentance is commonly translated as “a change of mind”. To “see” something, decide what the truth is about it, and embrace it- that’s what we are called to do when we are presented with the Good News, the Gospel.
The good, the bad, and the ugly- here it is, in reverse order: the ugly truth is that you’re a sinner and I’m a sinner, the bad news is that you can’t enter in to heaven as a sinner, but the good news is that there is a Savior with full recognition of your lost state, and HE made a way for you!!
God did it ALL. He wants us to simply acknowledge this powerful truth. If we grovel, feel lousy about ourselves and the mistakes we make, that isn’t repentance. That’s just us being frustrated that we can’t do the good we know to do. False humility, smacking ourselves around mentally, chastising ourselves for being imperfect- what is new about that thinking? That’s the same-old same-old. Been there, done that- and it profited me nothing. Just spiraled me downward.
No, I changed my mind a while ago about what God wants from me. What He delights in is Faith- our confident expectation that His loving hand extends to us “while we were yet sinners”- and that we can reach out and grab hold of His hand even as He grabs hold of us.
And if that doesn’t draw you, pull you close to Him, cause you to come running to Him in relief-
….then what will?
Monday, August 06, 2007
Dirty Feet, Weary Travelers
My daughter Abby decided to give me a foot rub last night (I think she’s still feeling grateful for the midnight rescue!), and she began with washing my feet. I was half-reading a book, and listening to her chat away about the day as she rubbed my dirty, hot, tired feet with her wet towel.
“Hey, I’m like Jesus! I’m washing your feet!” she exclaimed with a sudden revelation that she was being a true servant as well as sweet. (She already knew she was being sweet because I kept telling her so!)
She seemed truly amazed that she wound up doing something “good” that occurred, often, in the Bible. Something we don’t do much of, for others, because frankly- it’s a bit awkward in today’s society. I don’t mind (well, actually I MORE than don’t mind) my daughter washing my feet because she and I love “spa day” at home. We laugh and chat and giggle together when we do pedicures or facial masks in the privacy of our home.
But washing feet for someone I don’t know? Does the Bible really want me to do that today? Some of us have tried this in small fellowship groups and the results have been mixed: experiences of real fellowship and tenderness, experiences of awkwardness and “this is weird!-
and that’s okay.
I think we need to get back to the purpose of the foot washing: it was to relieve the distress of the weary, dirty, tired traveler in Biblical times. The foot washing was done by servants used to handling “the dirty work” of tasks that were crucial to survival and comfort: servants cooked, cleaned, and washed feet. It wasn’t meant to be this deeply moving spiritual experience with eyes locked on each other and solemn silence all around. It was ministering to the needs of the weary traveler who had come in the door from God-only-knows-where.
Today, we have a lot of people coming from all kinds of tough backgrounds and stressful situations. They walk in through our front door or into our churches and they need the equivalent of a foot washing- and they need it now.
Forget bringing out a pan of warm water and a cloth. Instead, give them what they need: help with getting rid of the soil of the world grinding into their souls, the coolness of something that relieves their thirst for something they haven’t yet found, and rest for their frantic minds that can’t solve the problems that persistently press in to their lives. You’ve got what they need- and today, it isn’t a actual foot washing- it’s more than that.
4[The Servant of God says] The Lord God has given Me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is taught, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. Isaiah 50:4 Ampl.
When I am tired and feeling sullied by the world and overwhelmed by life, nothing ministers to my soul more than an encouraging word, a prophetic word that points me forward, or the words of a friend who is lifting up my burdens to God and calling down God’s grace on me.
There’s a lot more than dirty feet at stake here. Souls are waiting to hear a word that will set them free, a word that will cause them to look up and see …HE is there.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Dignity
Dignity. I’ve seen this word used in describing how someone died- “with dignity” or how someone carried themselves “with dignity”. I’m not sure we Christians use this word too often, because it sounds like it leans toward aristocracy, highbrow living or stoic, determined living above pain.
Why am I talking about this word? Sunday afternoon, my husband Bill and I were talking heart to heart, challenging each other with God’s admonition to press forward, go onward, go higher. Bill said, “The word that comes to me is dignity. I think God wants us to conduct ourselves and think about ourselves with dignity- no matter how we might be tempted to feel about ourselves.” We had been chatting about the highs and the lows of our lives, our experiences in ministry and our experiences with challenging situations and people. “I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain,” James Taylor sang, and he was right. Psalm 66 tells us God even lets people “ride over our heads”- but that He also brings us out to a place of abundance.
Wikipedia discusses dignity and when I read these words I was struck by the truth of the definition:
“According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word dignity means the quality of being worthy of esteem or honor; worthiness; i.e., the quality of being highly valued….Society is free when it has free people. People are free when they have learned the truth about themselves, when they carry the truth with dignity, when they are internally free. Internal freedom is freedom from fear to be judged,….freedom from doubts about dignity….Society knows freedom when its people know dignity.”
I got thinking about God’s Society- His Kingdom people- and the application of the above definition. God’s Kingdom should be characterized by dignity and value and freedom. Galatians 5:1 New Life Version tells us Christ made us free. Stay that way. Plain and simple. One way to walk in His freedom is to continually respect the Word of God, respect the Work of God, and respect, specifically, His marvelous work in your life.
My father coached high school and college soccer for 30 years. One of his favorite exclamations that he’d call out when watching his players try to receive the ball and botch up the pass was “Respect the ball! Respect the ball!” He wanted the players to think higher of their capability to play well, and to look at the soccer ball as being worthy of respectful play and good execution.
I feel like God is speaking a message of respect and dignity into my life. I can hear the lyrics Aretha Franklin sang “R-E_S_P_E_C_T! Find out what it means to me….” Here’s what I hear the Holy Spirit whispering to me “Treat yourself with respect. Walk in Dignity. Walk freely in My path for you. Stay free, and share the message of my marvelous freedom with those who walk with head down, hands limp, eyes clouded with despair.”
Hebrews 12:12,13 tells us “Therefore, lift up the hands that hang down and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that which is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.”
We have all had experiences where our sense of worth and value was not strengthened but rather wounded or dislocated even. How does healing come? A dear new friend of mine advised that God “will give you the strategy and the strength to get out from under.” Get out from under what? From any lie that speaks “you have no value, no worth, no future.”
May today be a day where the dignity (”a certain worth or value”) of being a beloved child of God rules in our life, our walk, and most of all in our sense of who we are. What is your certain worth or value? Beloved sister or brother, it is in Him and because of Him- and it is exceedingly above what we could ever ask or imagine. And higher than that, even, is His inestimable glory.
Son Shine on My Soul Today, The Worthy Lamb has Made a Way …. for me.
